Adrian G.

Join my community, fuckers! bored_2death

Welcome to my bed:


See my rice bowl!


SAILOR URANUS!!!


My infamous tea collection:

I just promoted that damn community like hell would freeze over tomorrow at noon.

With this:


By the bored, for the bored. bored_2death Loves the bored, and what the bored type when they are bored. Just about no rules. When the post is unlawful and against the TOS, the post will simply be deleted as soon as I, the Boss, get around to it.

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

It's 5am and I haven't gone to sleep yet, so I went to make myself another cup of tea, because the water was already heated up from the cup I'd made at 1am. I guess the light of the kitchen woke my mom up. She asks me why I'm still up, so to not make her mad I tell her that I just woke up. "Oh, you are such a liar." and then she plops back down into slumber on her bed.

I am such a failure as a daughter. Why can I never be normal, never do something right? I can't stop arguing, disappointing, lieing, I can't stop anything I do. Yes I can. I can just stop being a bad daughter. Yeah right. I'm not so pure as to be a good daughter. Such a bloody fucking failure. Why can't we just go back and undue those awful regrets. Why oh fucking why?!

Today marks exactly 3 months since my last menstruation.

Although I saw a -pinch- of red when I masturbated a few days ago. That gives hope I can still conceive.

FUCK@! that's looking too far towards the future. I live in the now, man.

stupid stupid

You are an.. OUTCAST! Nobody hates you, you just
hate them. Or vice versa. You really don't like
being around people, being by yourself is much
better company. You are not accepted by the
norm and are deemed "weird" or
"freaky". You appreciate things that
others don't, and you dwell in your
indifference.


The Subculture Label Quiz
brought to you by Quizilla

This quiz really actually.... got it. Not to be full of myself, but it is true.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: Stephanie, Ember, Hey.
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: My new morals, Grades, Don't often hold a grudge.
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: German, Irish, Russian Jew.
THREE THINGS THAT PISS YOU OFF: People obsessed with sex, "" who try to "figure me out", Stale donuts.
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Glasses, watch, panties.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: Old gym shorts, underwear, white tank top.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS: Miranda Sex Garden, My Ruin, Silverchair.
THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: Straight-A's all year long, being single, coming out.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: HONESTY, laughter, understanding.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in any order): I have a high sex drive, I have a little sister, I haven't shaved in three days.
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: Eyes, elbows, style? Not much of the opposite sex appeals to me at all.
THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO: Quit drinking, brush my teeth daily, go to bed when everyone else does.
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Going online, going to the Van Buren drive-in! Watching movies in general!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: Eat pizza, Drink my mocha frappe, break up with someone.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING: Independent filmmaker, fashion designer, hermit.
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION: The Netherlands-Amsterdam, England-London, Japan-Tokyo
THREE KID'S NAMES: Poppy, George, Icy Tea.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Virginize myself (I will find a way I swear it), Direct a popular movie (to be proud of), Own a bunny named Bunny.
THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GUY: My perversion towards the female species, I don't menstruate, I prefer boxers.
THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK: I wear make-up at least once a week, I wear a bra, I... can be materialistic.
THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW: Anyone!

Today at school, the only two classes were the two I need no materials for. Art and P.E. So that was fun, not having to carry anything all day (8am-12.20pm)

Karen burned me a CD. My guilty pleasure MCR.... watch me go hide now.

5 little known facts about me:
-I like my chemical romance
-I cover my skin because of the number of scars on my flesh
-Obsessive behavior over food habits
-I can't digest food properly
-I can't remember anything before age 8, it's all stuff I've constructed false memories from what I've been told

The fact that I can't digest food properly is why I'm a vegetarian, but I can't tell my mother this is the real reason, because she'll take me to the doctor and he'll find out I haven't had my period in 2 months.

Geometry final today. And World History "final" today. School ended at 12:20pm.

I stayed awake until 12:30am last night, so during the geometry final, which took place at fucking 8am this morning, I fell asleep four or six times. I finished it, but did horribly. Oh well, I have an A.
I'll be hurting myself when this test boots my grade down to a B. Maybe it'll make my self-worth go down enough notches to kick my self-control back into liveliness.

So tired. And my new glasses are spiffy, I guess. I miss my old glasses. I named them Crystal. Come Back To Me Crystal! -weeps-

Karen calls me today, and wants to hang and see my new car. So I drive over there, getting lost a bit, but finding my way as the outcome. She took a look at my car and delighted "it's so you!". We drove down to UV and hung out there for a while, and we bumped into Colin Sanders there. The first boy I ever kissed, who I'd not talked to for over 1.5 year. He's doing well and has a new girlfriend (random info: I broke up with him after a week, by claiming I was a lesbian and not bisexual anymore[i'm bisexual it was just an excuse because I used to be complete chicken-shit])
Then Karen wanted to see her boyfriend Sean, so we drove on over there and... stuff happened.

I'm not really sure if I'm proud of what happened at his house today. I mean, being fondled by my best friends boyfriend of almost a year... fucking turns me on, but it feels slightly wrong. And the fact that while he was feeling me up and biting my neck causing me to orgasm slightly, while Karen was working on my lower half... I don't know. I felt.. dirty afterwards. But I liked it so much. How can I be able to get off on the scenario of being molested, when I really was molested within the past year. Am I that fucking sick?

So I went to see Beverly yesturday, to talk about the problems I'm having dealing with my boyfriend. We've discovered that, since he's younger than me, I feel responsible for him. I've become a parent to him.
And the reason I feel guilty and upset with him, is because this is a very one-sided relationship. I pull him along, dragging him through the relationship. He acts like he's not even ever trying. He tells me he loves me, and I know it in my head that he loves me, but I don't feel it in my heart. I have no love in my heart.

It was fun when you were the most wonderful person in the world, and rainbows and shooting stars flew over our heads for that first month and a half, but this relationship has progressed to the point of... the point on this relationship's timeline is getting closer and closer to the end.

I wanted Beverly to tell me how to break this to him, neither of us had a clue.
I need space, time, a dark room and a bottle of vodka 80 proof.

Yay I got new clothes today. I swung by Carmy's after school, because she said she had a box of clothing she was gonna sell to some store, and I should come by and look through it. I got a skirt, pair of pants, a band shirt, and an off-the-shoulder sweater. I would've taken more, but she needs the money she's gonna get from selling the stuff, to pay off an 89 dollar fine.
First getting my own gas for my car experience. I gave up immediately and called my mom for step-by-step insructions.

Me and miguel were just chillin at lunch period where we usually do, when a group of his friends walked by, so he called cynthia over and asked if she had any "pizza". She said that in fact she did and they'd been walking to "eat their pizza" when he called her over. Then she asked if we wanted some and invited us to go along. We walked all over school campus and everywhere had people. They decided to smoke in the bathroom. Girls went first, guys went next. Cynthia and Anna only gave me one stinkin hit. I don't know them that well, but I inferred they'd get pissed off If I asked for more. Miguel said they're like that. The guys, however, all shared it, 3 each. Lucky bitches.
When it comes to pot, girls are fucking selfish and guys are all cool with each other. Blegh.

Carmy said she tried this one homegrown stuff up in NoCal, called white widow. She said one of that was like four of chronic. I was like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Hmm. The chemistry test today went pretty well. I got 30/50 on the equations and half-life math. And she didn't grade the multiple choice yet, but I'm really sure I got a good score on that. Oh, I really hope so, I need to keep that A in that class. I neeed to get straight A's for once in my life. I've been working so hard this semester, If I don't get straight-A's, my black and white mindset'll switch my self-worth to: FAILURE!!!

This quarter: 4th quarter
Geometry........A 90.3%
Art..................A 100%
Language Arts...A 100%
World History...A 90.9%
P.E..................B 80.1%
Chemistry.......A 94.something%

Last quarter: 3rd quarter
Geometry........A
Art..................A
Language Arts...A
World History...A
P.E..................A
Chemistry.......A

I talked to all my teachers about my grade in their class. Half of them had screwed up, so we worked it out. Geometry lost an assignment, and we found it and upped my grade 5%. World History forgot to log in an assignment and luckily I kept it with me so I just showed it to her and upped my grade 1.9%. P.E, we had a misunderstanding and cleared everything up and upped my grade, like, 3.1%
I'm going to be running laps for points in P.E. at lunch period on thursday, and I'm redoing some homework for 1/2 credit for World History. And I did 50 points of extra credit, and am working on 28 more for chemistry.

Oh fuck... I'm an over-achiever

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Ugh. Today was just -so- fucked up it's unbelievable.

Luckily though, good news. Only 500 of those evil things consumed today =)

I was afraid of being late again. I was late all last week except for one day: thursday. THat means I only went to 1st period one time last week. Mom didn't want that to happen, so she let me drive to school so she and Michelle wouldn't make me late again by being just the girls that they are.

A black cat crossed my path on the way to school.

I have not had the best day. I forgot my wallet at home which had my license and school ID in it. I left my water bottle in the car and since I didn't have my ID they wouldn't let me leave campus to get it in the student parking lot, so I ended up spending my own $1.25 for water. My mother dearest said she was going to drop off my wallet in the office on her way to her work, but she was already late to work so she didn't. Boyfriend was being a jerk. Fatigue and a stomach ache hit 3rd period. Boyfriend compared me to a fat girl (TRYING TO OVERCOME SOMETHING HERE, JERK!). He also made me haul his jacket from lunch 'til the end of the day. He stole my CD player and broke the right headphone, then tells me today that he could've fixed it, tells me this AFTER I cut it off. Then the he starts making fun of me, when I told him I got high at the Mars Volta from jst inhaling the air. He starts talking like he's the only one who's gotten high and you can't possibly get high from any way other than inhaling straight from the joint. Excuse me sir, but taking a hit from a joint and inhaling the smoke in the air has the same if just a little less of the same effect.

Just had the worst day. I feel like dying. I haven't been taking my anti-psychotics lately because they give me an appetite, so everything is hitting me so hard upside the head.

I wish I could drive my bitchin new car to school. Not really. No, I want to drive it, it's just that it's not a bitchin car. But it's my car. MY car. And .......that'll have to do.

We need the insurance for it in my name, that's why I can't drive it today.

Since I got a car, of course I told my boyfriend. He wants a ride to school now. However, the DMV disallows me to give anyone (outside my own family under the age of 24) a ride for either the next 4 or 10 months (I've had my license for 2 months). I would be willing to, if I wouldn't get a ticket for it. I'd be okay with getting a ticket for it, if I had a job this time.
Still need to go job hunting for after school ends, it'll give me something to do besides eat.
Hopefully when I get a job I'll reach 95 again. Can't wait.

Craap still got some more homework. fuck chemistry.

I FINALLY GOT MY OWN CAR!!!!!!!

Hoorah hooray yay yay yay

It's a '85 red Volvo.

It runs real well, I got it for a fucking deal of $950, before then we hadn't been able to find anything that actually ran for less than $2500.

What wrong with it? When it looks like the gas tank is half full, it's actually empty. It needs to be re-smogged because of new ownership. The passenger seatbelt is stuck. We just had to put in 1/2 quart of oil. When you turn the radio on, the engine squeeks... But the guy... uh.... Greg, he said that was nothing, he checked.


EDIT
Mother dearest just tried to fix the seatbelt and got blood all over the seat and 'belt. Turns out the crappy seatbelt cover thing had fallen into it and blocked the thing from pulling out. All is well again.

Argh! recovery bites